Abuser sees Survivor Rat blog / “Oh, these people exagerate”
My mother is maybe the worst kind of emotional abuser, because she actually does love me and want what’s best for me.
Unfortunately, she’s shit at properly helping and orienting me— basically, all her methods eat away at my self-esteem and self-confidence by interrupting and correcting me in the middle of my actions, heightens my anxiety and guilt-complex by screaming and yelling when I commit a wrong, and feeding my self-loathing by using words like “lazy”, “irresponsible”, etc, in rhetorical questions about why I don’t do what I’m supposed to be doing.
She thinks all of this is acceptable, and doesn’t seem able to realize why I would have problems. Instead, she seems to think I might either be depressed about my father’s death, or starting to show symptoms of hyperthyroidism.
Whenever I show a hint of being angry, she starts to berate me. Whenever I try to talk in civil tones, she disregards any opinion I show that she thinks is wrong. And if I do things in ways she doesn’t agree with, she makes sure to let me know. Loudly.
My therapist has confirmed that my relationship with her took a turn to a sick kind of codependency, and the more I try to untangle myself from it (or as much as I know how to go about it) the more mother thinks I have mental problems.